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BLAM March 2006

A word in your ear...

Get a hankie on standby, it's the sentimental bit………

I really can't say thank you enough to all the fantastic supporters of The Forum who have got in touch with us since the publishing of the last editorial to offer us your backing in trying to fight off the impending court case. The two weekend shows were a fantastic success and raised a substantial amount of money to help us with the costs of the case. Every single one of you that got involved - thanks. Knowing how much support is out there for what we do makes it actually seem worthwhile, and the incredible generosity of some of you is something we won't forget. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank my mum, my mum's mum, auntie Ethel, Colin's cousin Clive, Dave the postman, Richard Attenborough, Noam Chomsky, all the people who went before me, the greats, George Formby, where are you George? This ones for you (takes out onion).
Anyway, we appreciate it a lot and hopefully you all know that.

In other news, the TIT awards last week showed just what can be done with some second hand partially used indie tunes and Menswear's cast off outfits as Kaiser Chiefs swept the board for the Best-band-on-a-major-label-pretending-to-be-indie-who-have-sold-some-records-but-we-think-could-sell-some-more-if-we-put-them-on-the-telly-and-beam-it-to-America-British Act. Other top awards went to a person of different ethnic origin that middle class white people have heard of who was voted the Best-down-with-the-kids-in-a-garagey-style-booyaakasha-is-this-right-Quentin Urban act (an improvement on last year when they apparently couldn't find anybody of different ethnic origin so gave it to a middle class white teenager by mistake) and an award for not being dead yet and having made some not bad records about twenty five years ago to Paul Weller (at which point your Dad probably harrumphed and said "at least they got one award right"). Kaiser Chiefs are apparently the best "Rock" band we have and Coldplay's yawn fest "Speed of Sound" was the best we could manage for a pop hit. God help us all. The British Music Industry is apparently in somewhat of a turmoil regarding what to do about illegal downloading hitting their sales. It seems the answer they have to come up with is to sign and promote such appalling shite that nobody would dream of trying to pirate it.

Blam is owned and produced by The Forum. We are poor starving musicians and artists who don't even have a garret so there is very little point in coming after us for money just because we accused you of being a donkey basher, but if you are really intent on litigation, then you sue us via

The Forum, Fonthill, The Common, Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN4 8YU

But nine times out of ten I wouldn't bother because our lawyers, Shyster, Rippemhoff & Felch are the fastest legal minds in Cricklewood. We would like to apologise for last month's apology in which we hinted that somebody who might sue you for hurting themselves whilst moshing at a Raging Speedhorn show might be classed as a wanker. Many of you wrote in protesting about this comment. "I regularly masturbate myself to a frothy frenzy" wrote one concerned member of the public "but I am not so fucking stupid as to think I should get money from you because I made a tit of myself at a thrash metal gig. The word you're looking for is cunt".

Comedy Forum

Thursday 2nd

Tunbridge Wells' original AND best value for money comedy club is held the first Thursday of every month.


For the past 5 years, on the first Thursday of every month, the Forum has played host tofour top acts from the stand-up comedy circuit. Acts that have gone on to become staples of Channel 4 (and Ceebeebies!) include; JIMMY CARR, ROB ROUSE, NINA CONTI, ELECTRIC (Big Cook, Little Cook) FORECAST and MARCUS BRIGSTOCKE. Here's your chance to see the stars of comedy before they start presenting rubbish 'Top 100 Drain Hole Covers in Southborough' stylee programmes.

It's been a couple of years since all round good egg AL PITCHER has graced the stage of the ol' shitter.
Each Al Pitcher show is unique. He eclipses his peers with his interactive abilities, his audience never quite knowing where he's leading them, but thrilled by the journey.
A star of the Comedy Zone at the 2003 Edinburgh Festival, Al stormed back to Edinburgh in 2004 with his acclaimed debut solo show winning him a new army of followers. His unpredictable, unsystematic and upbeat live performances have consistently wowed audiences across the country .

The voice of the Fosters Lager TV commercials, Al was commissioned by BBC Radio One to write and perform on their late-night comedy show The Milk Run. Booked as a warm up act for 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps , Nigella and Grown ups, In 2005 he performed at the Edinburgh festival with his highly praised show "Wolfcatcher"
Definitely a name to watch out for
Catch him while he is cheap- Evening Standard

Go see Al Pitcher…it is an experience to saviour - LBC Radio

Absolute star in the making - Time Out

In a short time, a passionate work ethic of tireless writing and gigging has made Chortle Award nominee and BBC New Comedy Award Finalist, Steve Williams, one of the most exciting and electrifying live performers of the new comedy generation. Steve never fails to surprise and engage audiences with his hybrid of bizarre stories, larger than life physicality, spontaneous improvisation and his off-the-wall take on everyday life.
Steve’s TV credits include appearances on Essential Edinburgh, BBC2’s TV coverage of the Edinburgh Festival, Children of Courage Awards broadcast on ITV1 and the Richard and Judy Show on Channel Four.

Von + Contra las Aras
Saturday 4th

"The bastard offspring of John Barry and Scott Walker"

Where oh where have those boys from Veldt been? Rumours that they had taken the Kings Shilling and were currently on a tour of duty in Lower Nepal hunting Yeti's on behalf of Prince Charles prove to have been groundless, as they have apparently been locked in the third circle of hell known as "trying to complete your debut album to your own satisfaction". Pretty much discovered at The Forum, I would normally hesitate to be the one to say "best local-ish band ever ever ever" but they have just sent me a copy of the album and the songs are jaw-droppingly good and the production is a triumph. I am not sure that it would actually be fair to even describe them as a local band any more, as the new stuff should be taking them into a completely different league. They've got a new single out late in March - "Walking in Silence" and then the album, The Cause: The Effect on an as yet unannounced date in May. This show is a bit of a thank you to The Forum for all the support we have given them, and a warm up for their London date at Dingwalls on Mon 13 March. Everybody who is enthusiastic about local music should get down and support them for no better reason than they deserve it because they have the songs to really go a long way.
Based in Brighton on the south coast of England, veldt record and perform songs in their own unique style, with influences ranging from sixties film scores (Morricone, Barry, Budd) to the loops and samples of the darker corners of modern pop.Vocalist, multi-instrumentalist and songwriter Lloyd Wadey, guitarist/producer James Waterland and 'cellist/keyboardist Mike Alexander combine to create a textured, brooding sound, evocative of the melancholia-tinged urban landscape which their lyrics reveal - a world of paranoia and self-doubt, of obsessive desires and failed ambitions, of endless mornings full of regret... yet shot through with tantalising glimpses of hope.
Not bad for a motley trio that dress like extras from recent retro Tv hit, Life On Mars - check out the polyester!

Jamie T
Sunday 5th

With no samples, loops or drum machines and with complete reliance on his own entangled wordplay and flow Jamie T lays down snapshots of his life. The words are tripping over themselves in eagerness to get out of his mouth and be part of his stories involving Sheila, Stella and subways. With riffs excavated from 70s punk, yet strummed on an acoustic bass as if Dylan's electric revolution never happened, this backdrop provides a refreshing blueprint upon which his half-sung raps can be laid. "Back In The Game" proves the best example of what he can do. Clearly not a traditionalist his slate wiping has sparked a flame of interest in alternative hip-hop again. His music is heart-felt, danceable and different. To have the balls to just recite rhymes over an unconventional, self-sufficient backing he has to be something special. He just claims, through his day-to-day grind laments he lets the room party to, that he isn't. But, just to clarify, he is.

A Forum fundraiser..

De Carabas
Vanishing Point
Saturday 11th

You know, the more I look at the picture of DE CARABAS, the more I find it disturbing and unbelievable. It's incredible that a five piece of hard livin' and hard loving jackanapes could have gone on The Atkins Diet, and stuck with it - shedding pounds of unsightly riffs to become the lean mean funk machine that you now see before you.Also appearing are CYRANO, of whom it has been written, "...possibly the next Coldplay.." Mind you, it will no doubt all go to pot when mad axe man Karl goes off and marries a Hollywood A lister, and has children named after foodstuff: in Karls case, Chips or Burgers!
Every night's a party night for these bands, and I know for a fact that it's going to be a great night from four fab local bands, and ALL FOR A GREAT CAUSE, namely the Forum!

Friday 17th

Based in the UK, Belasco have achieved fame in Germany with "15 seconds" a featured track from their mini album called "Technique" [Supermusic]. Rumba's (FIN) finds, that "this trio emerges some where between Manic Street Preachers and Coldplay where they are the best on their calm ballads." Calmness is the key word, although their melancholic discourse triggers the best of all emotions, especially the mixture of happiness and anger. Therefore, if you want it all, especially the Rolla coaster ride from hell and back, Belasco is your band. Think Radiohead, Muse, yes even Coldplay but remarkably better.
"Belasco have been honing their craft now for five years and their tight anthemic sound is just about to take them onto a new level and into uncharted territories. They have built up a strong following through airplay on radio 1 and student radio combined with a busy touring schedule. Something Between Us is produced by Hugh Jones (Echo and the Bunnymen, Teardrop Explodes). With a sound this big it surely won't be long until they are headlining festivals around the world.

Misty's BIG Adventure
Saturday 18th

When Grandmaster Gareth created the Universe, the band was formless and desolate.
Evening passed and morning came - that was the first day.
On the second day, He added guitar, bass, drums, piano, decks and singing.
Next, he added trumpet, saxophone, cello, theremin, and His large collection of toys and saucepans.
And Grandmaster Gareth said "Let there be music", and there was music.
Gareth looked at everything He had made, and He was very pleased.
On the third day, many concerts were performed, and the crowds gathered from all around to hear what the band had to play.
On the fourth day, an angel appeared and said unto Gareth, "You will have a monster and you will name him Erotic Volvo. He will dance, beat-box, and pop balloons to the beat."
Soon the band's fame had spread throughout the Holy City of Birmingham. For they had developed a mix of hip-hop beats, scratching, screwy jazz, pop and electronic toys.
On the sixth day the band went into the desert and recorded their commandments.
And Gareth saw that they were good.
Grandmaster Gareth's work was done. He had created...
...The Solar Hi-Fi System.
On the seventh day, Gareth rested.Absolutely bleedin' bonkers the lot of them - but also absolutely brilliant to watch. Go see. That's it!

Cosmic Rough Riders
Friday 24th

Cosmic Rough Riders are a Glasgow based band who were originally formed in 1998. Like so many of their influences, the band make a sound that captures young and old, modern and vintage, light and intense - it seems the band have managed to find that level of universal appeal that is so essential to any enduring band. An expression so versatile, their music follows in the footsteps of monumental bands like the Beach Boys, Coldplay, The Verve, U2, and The Waterboys, with thoughtful harmonies, catchy guitar symphonies, and timeless lyrics reflected in the songs time and time again.

Up until now, the band has had a satisfying taste of stardom with four top 40 hits (with such familiar indie tunes as 'The Pain Inside' and 'Because You') and two self-released albums, which immediately caught the imagination of the popular music press and key players in the independent music scene, causing one journalist to proclaim them "the best band on earth right now". Other honours picked up along the way include a 'top 50 albums of the year' nod from Q magazine, having an entire album playlisted at BBC Radio 2, entering the UK's official independent chart at number 7, and being awarded the Best Newcomer award at Scotland's main music charity event, the Tartan Clef Awards. The band have also enjoyed releases in multiple territories, mainly for their most recent record, Too Close To See Far. The album was released in 2004 not only in the UK but also in Japan (Sony) and North American (429 Records/Savoy), where they headlined numerous tours promoting the album. Overall, Cosmic Rough Riders have performed at several major festivals both in the UK and further a field ( Reading, Leeds, Glasgow Green, T In The Park; Quart ( Norway); plus both Summersonic & Fuji Rock ( Japan). They have appeared as guests of several other touring artists, including the Black Crowes, Ocean Colour Scene, Stereophonics, Paul Weller, Robert Plant, Lenny Kravitz, and were twice invited to appear as special guests of U2 when they performed in Scotland.

Most recently, Cosmic Rough Riders spent the beginning of 2005 ensconced in a residential recording studio in southern Spain, where they wrote and recorded tracks for their forthcoming album The Stars Look Different From Down Here.

Adding a veritable West Coast sound to the mix, with its crisp guitar lines and dreamy lyrics, the new material is perfectly infused with a harmonic aesthetic that is both sophisticated and majestic. The tracks from the aptly named 'Star Sessions' represent the band's most developed and realized work to date, ultimately creating an eternal soundscape filled with sonic beauty and intricate layering.

Cosmic Rough Riders will embark on a UK tour in March/April 2006 to debut their new material and promote the imminent release of The Stars Look Different From Down Here.

ELIN RUTH became one of Sweden's brightest new talents when she emerged at the age of 21 with her 2003 debut ‘Saturday Light Naive’. Featuring her distinctive country-rock hybrid, the album was met with widespread critical acclaim upon its release and featured four singles that would become huge airplay hits. Elin's popularity soared with two Grammy nominations for Best Newcomer and Best Female Pop Artist, the Swedish Publisher's Songwriter Of The Year award and two Rockbjörnen nominations.

The Hint
The Suits + Stowaway Sterling
Friday 31st

"A seemingly hidden treasure in the DC music scene, The Hint offers indie rock at it's best. The Hint is an amazing band nestled among one of the largest and most diverse music scenes in the country. They stand out because they're doing something different than everyone else and they're doing it better. With creative and persistent self-promotion, a flare for the dramatic, and tunes polished to a T, they're making sure you know who they are; a band that loves to create and play music that reflects the four different personalities and influences of the members... the band has since released only demos and EP's [singles]. They're damn good demos and EP's, but if you're wondering why there hasn't yet been a full album, the band explains it best, "This is our time to sort of find that album and when we do, we're going to record it".
If you are lucky enough to catch their live show, you will experience a great amount of inventive songwriting that would provide a foundation for a remarkable album. For now, there's a fine example of their raw talent in the songs posted on their Purevolume page. The songs there display catchy and melodic dance tunes, a few acoustic songs with deep, sultry vocals, and a sample of their retired material. With their latest EP produced by Sal Villaneuva of Thursday and Taking Back Sunday fame, The Hint is determined to find the right sound and the right producer to introduce an incredible album that will not only impress the fans, but themselves as well."

The Stable

Seconds away, no gouging, flapping your arms in a rather unnerving camp manner, and definitely no hissy fits. It's time for THE FANS CHOICE ROUND TWO!!
At the time of writing, the last show of Round is yet to be played, however, the first shows of Round Two have still been able to scheduled. All was going well for the top of the Fans Choice chart, OFFLIMIT, until Bromley based ELEVEN DAYS AGO turned up, and without a thought for the other bands, selfishly brought along all their fans. How dare they!!!!!!! For an indepth blow by blow account of this night, see my esteemed colleague, Moanin' Millsey's personal view of the night.

Mon 6th

Space Parade (all one word these days, apparently) consist of: Charlie de von Rotberg (keys/synth) Jev Severs (keys) Tman (vox_) Rob Frost (bass guitar) James Moruzzi, (drums/chef) Ollie Dickinson (lead guitar), and, according to their website are "a twelve legged groove machine", play indie electronicaand cite influences including:
The Cooper Temple Clause, Primal Scream, Interpol, Spiritualized. In their spare time they like to dress as fifteen men on a dead man's chest, and drink rum. lots of it.
Named after our very own bar fuhrer Marvy Jarvy's middle name (by the way, try to get to his new bar, the Little Bar on Mount Ephraim for top drinks, great sounds, intimate ambience, and not forgetting the great value for money tapas, really! - Ed's Plug). LAST ORDERS are an enigma as their website would appear to be defunct.But I've heard they're brilliant.
TALKING BACKWARDS meanwhile are symphonic doom pop - very much like Girls Aloud, but on the wrong drugs, and, trivia fans, include a member that used to be in old stable ska outfit CRAB IN A CAB. mmmmmmm ..........

Mon 13th

Afflicted Quarter a a rock hardcore screamo four piece from Tunbridge Wells, and again, their websites are either blank, or last updated in the eighteenth century. So I suggest that you gaze at their picture and draw your own conclusions.FALL TO FICTION are Emo / Post Hardcore / Pop Punk 5 piece from Heathfield and Herstmonceux areas in East Sussex, UK.
Formed late 2003 the band have progressed a huge amount in the short time they have been together. With sounds similar to Brand New, Hundred Reasons, The Used, and Funeral For A Friend, Fall To Fiction create a sound that is both original and noticeable. KAPPA MANDATE are from Brighton and like to funk things up with their emo rock. Accessible and rather pleasant - I likee!

Mon 20th

Current league table toppers Eleven Days ago have only been in existence for a mere 9 months. An act that appears to have got itself together: they know how to pull a crowd (and rub some reviewers up the wrong way) and Gawd bless 'em - they're incredibly nice to the other bands on their bill the other week, even linking to the aforementioned bands' websites - nice one fellahs! Check out www.elevendaysago.com - apparently all round nice guys!

Mon 27th

A lot has been written about Imperium, both on the Forum messageboard, and again, in this issue's Mr Mills' Monthly Moan. Featuring rock chicks Lisa and Fran, Lloyd the shredder, someone at the back hitting things, and our very own David Rider-Whiteswan on bass, Joel. If you want to see something a bit different, a band that makes an effort onstage instead of dressing like roadies, then Imperium are your band.THE RED SHIFT is proud to be Hastings only five piece Ska/Funk/Punk band. Influenced by such bands as The Specials, Less Than Jake and Incubus (but not forgetting everything in-between) they continue to create waves around their sleepy little seaside home town with their funktastic sound.

Mr. Mills' Monthly Moan

Eleven Days Ago . Imperium . Stowaway Sterling
The Stable - 20th Feb

Bromley boys Eleven Days Ago would dearly love everyone to hate them. Honest, they would, as they'd think it hilarious and they do a reasonable job of achieving it too. Not only do they get up noses by being obnoxious, self-obsessed, cheesy cabaret with arrogance substituting for attitude, but they do the one thing the Tunny Wells cliques can't forgive, and that's to kick them in their complacent arses by doing what they're supposed to do. How dare they promote their gig well, bring a busload of mates down, have a good time and win the night's votes by a fucking mile, making all other efforts look a bit pathetic, eh? You can almost smell the bile and hear the gnashing of teeth from outside. Laugh? I nearly bought my own drink.
The glaring problem with EDA though, is that despite their aplomb, despite their two-fingered approach, and despite the hard work of their PR monkeys, they have absolutely nothing to offer unless you're not that interested in music and don't care if what you're listening to is feebly-written, shallow, derivative crap that was tiresome 5 years ago. Without all the posing, vain narcissism and of course free CDs to distract your attention, EDA are at best a 10th rate Kingskin, and tunes like 'I Believe' are essentially, well, bollocks - for want of a better term. Sure enough, they're big on bouncing gaudy hooks, but their fake commercial hard rock is also formulaic, repetitive, disposable, predictable, tacky and cheap. Put it this way, if musical qualities could be purchased in the High Street, then they've got everything from the Poundshop.
Frontman Jack in particular is perhaps the most unnecessarily egotistical, talentless, tuneless, up-his-own-arse, insufferably conceited, sad little tosspot that's ever pissed his trousers on this stage since, well, probably ever, and for that alone he deserves special credit. "I'm just a poor little English boy" he croons like an emasculated Gary Stringer, slapping his guitarist on the head Benny Hill style and demanding sycophantic attention from his mates, who no doubt all consider him a real scream. "Is that a good song?" he asks, before agreeing with himself that it is and looking smug as a cat who's just washed down your goldfish with a pint of cream and knows how to get it's paws on more. Bewildering stuff, but c'est la vie.
Quite what EDA's game plan is remains to be seen. By making people think that they're a bunch of wankers, they succeed in making an impression that's unlikely to be forgotten easily. So far, so good. Although whoever's in charge of this bubblegum machine has also sold them a blinkered belief in how wonderful they are, and how everyone else must be jealous, despite all evidence to the contrary, and they're expecting everyone else to buy it in the same way. But in the absence of such commodities as imagination, creativity, or a tune that's actually theirs, it's little wonder that they go along with it and throw the necessary shapes, swallowing their own witless bullshit because it's more fun that way and saves them having to think for themselves. Yep, as the old saying goes, in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king. Although perhaps in this case, His Majesty should have gone to Specsavers.
The fact is, that much as they'd like to be, they're simply not interesting enough to be hated. But they're just the ticket if you want to feel tetchy and mildly irritated.
One of band life's little ironies is that you could have a hundred rehearsals without blowing a fuse, but just before going on stage, whatever can go wrong, probably will. Techie problems don't forebode well for the artists formerly known as Aurora, until they realise exactly how many people there are out there, but having recently triumphed in The West Kent Battle Of The Bands, Imperium have attracted not only the loyal but the curious. Fuck ups always seem to happen when there's the most to prove, so anxiety about it only serves to create the butterfly effect, when a small glitch sets off a chain reaction of difficulties throwing everyone off kilter, and it bothers them that it bothers them.
That being said though, when it works, Imperium's slick dramatics and gripping melodic metal can leave marks on you like the fingernails of an ardent lover. Think Evanescence. Think Dream Theatre. Think Nightwish without the extravagant wank and faux operatics. Fuck it, just think. It's nicely cerebral, Imperium's music, with solid ideas that pulse with life, meandering and exploring without losing the plot. They like to stretch a song out and give it a damn good invigorating shake, but it's the sense of mood and anguish they create which keeps them interesting, as they don't overblow it, remembering that real songs matter more than flashy theatrics. They can't resist flaunting what they have though, because (dubious facepaint aside) when you've got a singer with as much saucy waifish charm as the fine-voiced Lisa Avon and a guitar-shredder of Lloyd's calibre, it'd be a waste not to.
"Snakebite" however, shows things beginning to come unstuck. Whether a symptom of technical difficulties or something more fundamental, the keyboards sound appalling and show a glaring uncomfortable weakness in Imperium's structure, threatening to bring the whole lot crashing about their arses, but they salvage it through dogged determination if nothing else. From then on, it's a heroic struggle to stay focussed, which they accomplish through gritted teeth, but there's nothing that can ease the apprehension on their faces. The final tune sees them all click into place with even some surprisingly juicy synth work for a change, but Imperium seem to realise that things haven't gone entirely according to plan and by then, it's all frustratingly too late.
That aside, Imperium are an extremely promising young band who just happen to have some rather uncomfortable obstacles to deal with, that's all, but nothing too gruelling. They've already got the beginnings of something passionate and expressive that's going to keep on getting better, and regardless of how well the votes go in the next round, they're going to turn some heads while doing it.
Crowborough's Stowaway Sterling have an odd name, a bunch of strangely overenthusiastic supporters and sad as it may seem, not a great deal else. Sloppy sounding garage rock in a Strokes vein that's shabby and under-rehearsed; all over the place one minute, a frantic effervescent fizz the next, which they then lose just as quickly. It's rather like watching a band jamming who are still trying to figure out the basics of what they're capable of, and can't hang on to those brief moments when something works, but it's not offensive sounding either way. A little lacking in direction and definition certainly, but there are worse things in the world than a bunch of queezy college boys scratching their pimples to Razorlight and The Paddingtons.
It's at least honest-sounding confusion and grit, even though there's not a great deal of substance to it. There's no snotty sneers or rebellious veneer other than guitarist/frontman Josh's passable mockney drawl, and though tunes like "City Stock" might be punked up gobby nonsense, he sounds as if he means it, even if it ain't exactly threatening. They haven't got the city-dwelling swagger and pissy stench of tower block doorways that you'll find in the likes of the Rakes or The Others, just a smidgeonette of suburban decay and snotty groove that'll make you tap your foot, but not snap to attention. Even when an amp dies and they hang around limply for a few minutes like spare pricks at an orgy, they are the only ones remotely bothered by it, but maybe that sort of polite apathy is symptomatic of the whole genre being stale and unsurprising right now. The world doesn't need another skinny fuckwit garage band with bad hair, surely? I dunno, maybe that's not what they're about, but while they're looking for an angle to come from, perhaps it might be an idea to determine which way they're facing.

Our eager, hyperactive, willing to please, forelock-tugging, cap-doffing, can-do, nothing's-too-much trouble, highly trained, elite, ex-SAS and Girl Guides, crack squad of volunteers are waiting like coiled springs, bouncing off the walls for you, and only you !

We always like to hear from new contributors, new bands, new people, people who hate swearing, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head.Because believe you me, it's a right hard slog making up all the lies, half-truths and general bollox that we lovingly/laughingly call BLAM. So If you've recently been moved to tears by the sight of a '74 Rickenbacker 4001, plugged through a Big Muff, whilst being lovingly caressed by a young gunslinger who knows his middle eights from a 'truckers gear shift' then please get in touch. Preferably with a local drugs helpline, in the meantime do not operate any heavy machinery.

You can write to us at
The Forum, Fonthill, The Common,
Tunbridge Wells, Kent, TN4 8YU
Or call the Information line on 08712 777101

We also have a website where you can find out all about what's on, and laugh at the photos of the damp mattressed fainthearts that 'work' here. That's at
You can also email us, so do that to:
On the website you can book tickets, find out what's coming up, get a map, get a life, identify which ne'er-do-wells have trodden the boards at the ol' shitter, check out our interactive gaming section, or go on our messageboard and start arguing whether we include too many Appalachian Nose-Flute nights in our gig programming. In fact, we beseech, nay implore you to do any of the above which would make a change from downloading hardcore 'chicks with dicks' jpgs as you'd normally do.
Please note that as well as being able to reserve tickets for all Forum shows online, tickets are also available to be purchased from the following retail outlets:
The Longplayer, 3 Grosvenor Road, Tunbridge Wells 01892 539273
Criminal Records, 6 Goods Station Road, Tunbridge Wells 01892 511776

++++++coming soon++++++

BREED 77 - Sat 1st April
COMEDY FORUM - Thu 6th April
TOWERS OF LONDON - Fri 7th April
CHRIS TT - Thur 13th April
MC LARS - Fri 14th April
STARS IN THEIR EYES - Sat 15th April

Lifted (with permission) from the March edition of BLAM! - All queries regarding libel actions should be directed to them