It's the split that's got the whole of West Kent (Tunbridge Wells Borough Council borders only, including Cranbrook) on the edge of its seat as yet more sensational revelations were , er, revealed this week regarding the supposed "amicable" divorce between one of local rock's leading legends M Edward Cole and his erstwhile partner and part time Kenny Everett looky likey, the boy wonder Lawrence. Rumours of a rift in paradise first emerged last month when Lawrence sensationally revealed to the High Brooms Shopper that he was leaving M Edward due to the strain placed upon their relationship of continually being in the glare of the world's media (The World at One spot on Radio Kent). "It's all completely amicable" said the boy wonder "but I am taking that heartless bastard for everything he's got". The Bexhill Observer then sensationally revealed (haven't you used that bit already? - Ed) the lurid past of the wild haired Everett clone, disclosing that before joining himself at the hip to Joeyfat he had been whoring himself around to the highest bidder, assuming all sorts of guises for all sorts of money; one week playing about a bit with Cove wearing Slint's cast offs, the next brushing his hair forward and acting depressed to try and get a girlfriend from the emo fraternity. An understandably distraught lanky weird singer then announced to the press that he was unaware of the Lawrence's previous putting it about a bit, and demanded to be given custody of the E Major chord that forms the backbone of most of the Joeyfat catalogue. "This chord, fnart wibble look out, Captain America! rightfully belongs to me - is that cheese?"
I think not." He stated. "Had I known that Mister Kenney Everett
- duck! Blancmange on an incoming bicycle - was in truth a cheap whore, a
lady of the night, an hustler of the sexual peccadillo variety - Michael row
the boat ashore - I never would have allowed him to enter my chamber and share
the good times and the bad. Crash! Crash! Waves of Spoons!!".
The latest revelations (look, if you can't be bothered yourself, at least use the thesaurus function in word, for fuck's sake - Ed) however, paint an entirely different complexion on the matter, with Lawrence striking back in the form of a badly photocopied fax to Blam towers alleging that his time in the Fat was a less then joyous experience. Amongst the most lurid allegations are that Mr Cole humiliated the curly haired guitar lick specialist on several occasions by shouting "You! You! What are you playing?!?!" at him in the middle of songs, by rubbing Cornflakes into his arm which gave him a nasty rash, and by making him always make the tea, no matter whether or not he was nearest to the kettle. The Boy Lawrence is demanding half the Joeyfat catalogue in full settlement of his claims, rumoured to be valued as high as £1.26p and a bowl of Rice Krispies. A spokesman for M Edward said "My client is going to rise above these outrageous smears - which is easy for him as he is 6 foot 8. He refuses to comment and be dragged into this tawdry affair, except to say that Mr Lawrence is a liar liar with his pants on fire, and that he knows where he lives." What on earth will happen next, eager readers?
Blam is owned and produced by The Forum. We are poor starving musicians and artists who don't even have a garret so there is very little point in coming after us for money just because we accused you of being a donkey basher, but if you are really intent on litigation, then you sue us via
The Forum, Fonthill, The Common, Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN4 8YU
But nine times out of ten I wouldn't bother because our lawyers, Shyster, Rippemhoff & Felch are the fastest legal minds in Cricklewood. In view of the litigious nature of certain soon to be former members of the McCartney family, we would like to point out that a) we have nothing worth having and b) we haven't actually mentioned anyone by name, so we don't think it's technically libellous, except possibly the bit about whoring yourself about. Cor, rock star marries woman 20 years younger than him with large breasts who turns out not to be quite the package he though he was getting. Who would have predicted that, eh? In other shock news, bears have apparently been using the nearest part of the forest for shitting in.
Tunbridge Wells' original AND best value for money comedy club is held the first Thursday of every month.
FOUR TOP CLASS ACTS, THE FIRST THURSDAY IN EVERY MONTH, ONLY FIVE POUNDS,
NEW LUXURIOUS TOILET FACILITIES.
For the past 5 years, on the first Thursday of every month, the Forum has played host tofour top acts from the stand-up comedy circuit. Acts that have gone on to become staples of Channel 4 (and Ceebeebies!) include; JIMMY CARR, ROB ROUSE, NINA CONTI, ELECTRIC (Big Cook, Little Cook) FORECAST and MARCUS BRIGSTOCKE. Here's your chance to see the stars of comedy before they start presenting rubbish 'Top 100 Drain Hole Covers in Southborough' stylee programmes.
BARRY DODDS has forged an enviable reputation for himself
over the past few years, charming audiences nationwide, with his uniquely
tailored combination of disarming Geordie wit and wry, down-to-earth observational
A finalist in both the Jimmy Carr Comedy Idol competition, and Jongleurs Last Laugh Comedy search, and a semi-finalist in the BBC New talent Awards 2005 - Barry has taken the national circuit by storm, with his mix of surprisingly dark and irrepressibly cheeky material.
"Razor sharp humour" - Metro
Fascinated by stand-up from an early age, Barry took to the stage at the tender age of 21, and is now a firm audience favourite at clubs such as The Stand, The Comedy Store, XS Mullarkeys, Jongleurs and Raw hide - with material covering everything from failed culture bids to an obsession with ghosthunting.
"Very impressive" - Jasper Carrot
"One of comedy's original thinkers" - Dominic Holland
PETE CAIN - grew up in the 70's on a council estate in West
London where the only comic influences that he was exposed to as a cheeky,
rebellious child were the likes of Billy Connolly, Dave Allen and Jasper Carrot.
Aged 21 Pete really started to consider doing it but something was missing.
It became clear a decade later when a friend gave him a Bill Hicks video.
Before that he hadn't appreciated how brilliantly comedy can take on serious,
sensitive issues and make them palatable. Suddenly, everything seemed to fall
into place. Stand-up seemed to be the only place left where the uncensored
truth could be told and Pete's overwhelming attraction to it now had some
meaning. After the ups and downs of about 500 gigs Pete started performing
"the dark stuff", which is now being received astonishingly well
up and down the country. It seems to be tapping into a general unrest about
how our world and our nation are being run for and on our behalf with little
or no consideration for us. Maybe people are finally starting to think that
enough is enough and it's time things changed - how do we go about it? Pete
hopes to provide some inspiration.Pete has recently finished supporting Lucy
Porter on her nationwide tour.
Liane Ross spent the first 13 years of her life growing up in a pub. during this time her parents thought it would be a good idea to send her off to dance and singing classes to stop her from showing off in the bar around all the drunks. Her first professional job was in the Royal variety along side Jimy Cricket as a pixie (complete with very silly green outfit) and Jim Davidsons 'cinderella' as a child actor/dancer.
Liane then want onto stage school and spent most of her teens and early twenties as a jobbing actress. Now in her mid twenties, she has found her way in straight stand up around bars up and down the country. Still very small, crossing the line and getting way with blue murder (don't worry no silly green outfit).
of the East London "grot and roll" scene made famous by the music
of the now defunct Libertines and the never ending Pete Doherty tabloid car
crash, The Others are the most notable of the bands to emerge from the streets
of Hackney, Shoreditch and Whitechapel.
Led by Dominic Masters, self-confessed bisexual and drug user (Look kids, it's not big, and certainly not clever - Ed), The Others have a reputation for non-conformity, being the biggest exponents of the impromptu live performances that have become known as "Guerrilla Gigging" and taking every opportunity to play for their fanatical following, known as "Community 853", as well as developing a band ideology firmly in opposition to "The Man", (Yeah - smash the system - Right-On Ed)with songs such as "Lackey" and "This Is For The Poor" bemoaning the drudgery of everyday life.
Masters, a former advertising consultant who quit his lucrative job to start the band, has already developed a strong media profile, being outspoken in the press about his friend Doherty (he dedicated the song 'Stan Bowles' to him), drug use (he claimed that crack can be therapeutic) and his sexuality.
The Others are currently signed to the Poptones label, set up by Alan McGee, the former boss of Creation Records and the man credited with discovering bands such as Oasis, Primal Scream and Super Furry Animals.
Vega 4 are a band with a mission: to write songs that glimmer with sentiment
and meaning, songs which they hope will inspire us all to live our dreams.
Vega 4 are not chancers eager to score a chart hit and hit the celebrity circuit,
nor are they indie underachievers fearful of the very success they crave.
Vega 4 are committed to something far more substantial - the sheer emotional power of music. Here is a band who truly believe that music can touch, and even change lives.
Vega 4 are four individuals with wildly different backgrounds and influences intersecting and finding a common purpose. They boast an Irishman (glinty-eyed singer John McDaid), a Canadian (drummer Bryan McLellan), a New Zealander (guitarist Bruce Gainsford) and an Englishman (bass player Simon Walker). Accordingly, their ambitions are global. In September 2000 they signed to Taste Media (the home of Muse), who subsequently secured deals for the band with Capitol Records for North America; Naïve for France; Motor Music for Germany, Austria and Switzerland; Play It Again Sam for Benelux and Festival Mushroom for Australia and New Zealand - with the intention of taking the Vega 4 sound to the four corners of the world.
Led Zep Too are without a doubt the most accurate sounding tribute to the
live sound of Led Zeppelin. When you see Led Zep Too there are no gimmicks,
no backing tapes, it's just four musicians performing the music of Led Zeppelin.
The current song list stands at about 4½ hours enabling an ever changing set list. Led Zep Too are at present not a look-alike band, preferring to let their musical talent declare them the best tribute to Led Zeppelin by a milestone. Led Zep Too use authentic equipment where possible, including vintage amplifiers, real keyboards, a violin bow for the Dazed & Confused solo, a Theremin for the Whole Lotta Love solo and a 28 inch bass drum!
These guys really are excellent, and I can't recommend them enough - JUST GO AND SEE THEM FOR YOURSELF
Formed in Winchester in the school holiday's of 2002, Second Monday have a sound so complex yet natural, that you would believe they have been playing music together for years! No mean feat you might think? Until you realise that the band has only just achieved an average age of 16!!! For a band so young their songs show a maturity and originality that belies their years. With an impressive array of stops and time changes , their album, 'Imagery' is a seriously interesting record. Secondly, their lead vocalist, James, is a very talented singer indeed: with a voice that has both purity and power and occupies a space somewhere between Thom Yorke and Robert Smith, yet the way he adds the subtle touches that marks him out as outstanding, breathtaking even.
"I fucking love this. Loud n proud, a Sham 69 for 21st Century…." - UNPEELED
Night Without Sleep
Formed in 1996, Mistys Big Adventure, take their name from a story in the 1968 children's book 'The Magic Roundabout Annual' about a kitten, Misty, who meets a dog and they become friends. (You can't leave him like that Mr. Derek - aged Ed's reference to The Basil Brush Show circa 1971)
A glorious 9 piece band from Birmingham, made up of brothers and sisters
and twins and saxophones and trumpets and cute, weird dancers who produce
uplifting, life affirming tunes, Misty's Big Aventure are an eclectic mix
of jazz, lounge, psychedelia, two tone, pop and punk. The current lineup is
Grandmaster Gareth (vocals), Hannah Baines (trumpet), Lucy Baines (saxophone),
Lucy Bassett (keyboards), Matt Jones (bass), Sam Minnear (drums, percussion),
John Nachtanoj (guitar), DJ Feva (decks) and Erotic Volvo (dancer).
Performances typically consist of Grandmaster Gareth singing in a deadpan, maudlin style accompanied by lively guitar, keyboards and brass players while Erotic Volvo, dressed in a loose full-body red sack with numerous inflated blue gloves attached dances frenetically, making Bez look like Heather Mills on rohypnol. Ludicrously hip and hook-laden pop songs that the Independent calls 'lovely, leftfield pop'. The music and the live shows have thrown up loads of amazing comparisons of the band from 'a modern day Sly and the Family Stone mixed with the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band' and 'The Muppet Show mixed with The Beatles'
Acoustic duo NIGHT WITHOUT SLEEP are exactly as their name suggests; dark, deviant, troubled and nightmarish. With the intense stage presence of Wolff 's crooning and growling, spitting out angry evocative lyricism and Jim's hypnotic sense of mood and drama, Night Without Sleep are a twisted, perverted devastatingly powerful demonstration of what happens when a madman is given free rein to express himself on a stage. Or as we put it - ".a dreadlocked scummier Jim Morrison in combat trousers. he pouts and flexes, claws at the air, his eyes, his body, his hair, leaving long bleeding nail-tracks across his skin while he fellates the mic, fucks the stand and howls a lupine lament to despair, bleakness and deviant sexuality..gothic pop art at its most intense, disturbing and peculiarly self-indulgent."
On the 24th of November around 60 sixth form students from Beacon Community
College will be making their annual trip to The Gambia. They spend time in
various villages, taking supplies of educational equipment and interacting
with the local youth. The money that this group has raised in the UK in the
past twelve months is spent on various projects. In previous years, schools,
hospitals and water supplies have been built .Last year the students raised
over £20K - help thembeat this record by going to this fund raising
Amongst the bands appearing tonight will be THE VERTIGO, madcaps ZIPPERFACE, and the ubiquitous FURNITURE SOUND.
Sold His Soul
Having received 5K reviews from Kerrang!, uncrowned kings of the UK underground,
ferocious power, bone-crunching heaviness and soaring melody, MAHUMODO built
a huge reputation and following...and then split.Rising from the ashes like
a chipolata at a Forum summer barbecue are DEVIL SOLD HIS SOUL.
The ex-'Modo boys are back, and even better, wallowing in the new-found stability since the old singer left.
Any past accusations of a band suffering from a lack of songwriting diversity are now rendered obsolete. The defects of a single songwriter no longer apply. One voice has become six (Just don't let the fucking drummer write one eh? - the Fop). This band takes as starting points: the cerebral structures of TOOL, the fearsome musical musculature of WILL HAVEN, the sweeping emotion of the DEFTONES, and by the looks of it, the dress sense of anyone hanging around the millennium clock of a Friday night.
When new punk rock band LAST GHOSTS formed they wanted to present themselves in a way that would be about their music and not as an excuse for vanity and fame. Bored of bands that are presented as the same four blokes standing in a darkened alley they decided to represent themselves as fictional characters rather than real people. Developed out of a love for Manga and 2000 AD, Last Ghosts exist online (www.lastghosts.com) and perform live as group of characters that exist in an imaginary world where all music has been banned by the government. In this world they have become wanted men and are continuously harassed by Gov-Fed who are the ruling power in a 1984 based society. Expect fast and heavy punk rock that just doesn't let up.
ZOMBIE MET GIRL are a five piece band from Gravesend Kent , Were formed in April 2006 & took their cue from the over-amplified pounding of punk & American garage rock.The bands influences are heavily stamped within their sound, The Cramps, The Dead Kennedys & The Stooges to name but a few.The energy Zombie Met Girl produce live is amazing & with a sound that recapturesthe ambience of the late seventies early eighties punk scene, it really is a must for all discerning rock & retro heads alike.
In a change to our normal "let's fuck about with it and tart it up a
bit" we are announcing that the Stable page will HENCEFORTH be taken
DIRECTLY from the first paragraph of the biog/about me section supplied by
the acts themselves on their website or myspace page.
All the page links are provided from The Forum Stable page, so you can now check out most of the bands online and hear what they are up to etc. You might think this is lazy journalism on our part, but actually we are doing it so that the bands can see in print what they look like online. It's a fact, band members - most people only read the first 4 lines of your biog; unless, that is, they really like what they read or what they hear. Some of these descriptions come across well, some like your band is about as interesting as a trench, a lot in between. Message here is; it's worth thinking about what you are posting online for slightly longer than two minutes as this is what people can actually judge you by. All the punctuation and spelling is "as it is".
This is what the bands are saying about themselves:
Blind Archers fell through a portal in the space/time continuum from the Middle Ages, and as such, have no website!
Cross Fire is a 5-piece band from Uckfield. Originally, Will Tullett, who had just moved to the area in the summer of 2005 and had been in bands before brought Jack Walker on bass and Ralph Hissey on drums to his side to form a Band, from the influences of Lostprophets, Alter Bridge, The Hurt Process, Children Of Bodom and other diverse ranges of bands like Feeder, Idlewild and Kasabian. Later, Tom Snell joined on second guitar. That current formation was without a lead vocalist (Wake up at the back! - Ed). Then, late in 2005, Callum Richards joined the band on vox. The band went through several name changes before settling on the moniker 'Crossfire'. Forbidden Lust were formed in 2005 when guitarist Brodie Pearson decided to form a band with friend Miren. A year and a line up change later, Forbidden Lust was born! Within 6 months of getting together, the band pressed themselves hard to write and record their own EP, "Who We Really Are," which help them write and grow as a band.
Dayfall In brief: We are an electronic Rock band based in Kent. Matt Dene is the songwriter as well as lead vocalist. Matt formed Dayfall last year because he wanted to get his music heard, as it is a little different from the norm. He writes all his songs on Cubase, and are keyboard based. On stage, we have Matt (lead vocals), Lara (laptop, keyboard and backing vocals), Dan ( guitar), Ant (bass), and Kevin (drums).
Emphatic began in October of 2004 in the Abergavenny Arms in the small village Frant in East Sussex. Following another unproductive practice session with their then current band, Jamie and Dave decided that it was time to move on and to form a band that was more 'them.' Jamie and Dave met whilst playing with an unknown band and from the start, it was clear that the two wanted very different things in music than their fellow band mates. And so it was set...Emphatic would be formed.
Southernwood are a lo-fi post-punk three piece from Sussex. After a number of years musing with the idea of forming a band, and occasionally meeting up to play some music, Southernwood were formed in the summer of 2001 by Sara Jackson and Neill Hadlow. Since that point a number of band members have come and gone, but from 2003 onwards Alena Slack has played bass. In the beginning rehearsing and gigging was difficult with no two members living in the same area; we would meet periodically, rehearse, play a gig and then disband for 6 months. (yawn.is EastEnders on yet? - Ed)
Beach People Formerly called The Mad Bad Line are a 3 piece from Deal and Canterbury, with male / female vocals. We formed in the summer through a desire to perform each members songs. Will and Jack are brothers...and Poggy is... Theres huge variation in the songwriting...but it all comes under our sound. We have written masses of material, and want to spend the coming months gigging as much as possible, before getting into the studio to record an EP. What ever you think of our current demo recordings you will prefer us live.
Forget Tomorrow Since 2005 we have been writing, playing and re-writing songs, constantly trying to better ourselves and our capabilities. As older bands with various members of Forget Tomorrow died out, it increasingly made more sense to push ourselves forward.
2006 gave way to a huge wave of motivation and aspiration. Landing shows all the way up in the capital and constantly receiving positive feedback, it made sense for us to make the next step and move from demo recordings to a full professionally produced debut EP.Making use of what in our opinion is the best recording studio in town, and having the tracks mastered all the way over in California, USA, we are always moving up and striving for a tighter performance, making use of more experimental ideas and concepts.
Uncouth Koala is not so much a band as way of life. Several of this country's finest young men came to this epiphany on a momentous train journey back from the holy city of Ashford. However, the meaning of this message was unclear for some considerable time, until one of the band members uncovered the true destiny of the Koala- to form a band. And not just any old band, oh no. A band to light the ages, a band to reunite the world's warring factions, a band, quite simply, that rocks.
Formed after the two founding members, Haze & Becky, randomly discovered each others previously hidden musical prowess abilities, in the winter of 2003, Barrier Dutch have one goal, to claim the hearts of those who wish to be converted & to stir up the interest of those who are as yet unsure. Now consiting of 5 members, after Haze on violin & backing vocals & Becky on lead vocals & guitar, Ben, James & Neil were assimilated. (Can I go home yet? - sub Ed) Ben on drums, James on guitar & Neil on bass. Although currently still struggling to get themselves known, they have determination, a will to be heard & the integrity & talent to get themselves out there.
We play a form of indie rock, though with hints of many other musical genres, thanks to the wide variety of musical tastes within the band, everything from Queen to CKY, from Starsailor to Vanessa Mae.
Icon Are a Band from "Gods Waiting Room" (aka Bexhill-On-sea). We have been around for a year now (newly reformed) and have a new demo in progress, as for the band we have 4 talented musicians each bringing somethign new to the band. these guys are: Alex Ives: Lead vocals and guitar, Jason Downing - Waite: Guitar , Gavin Duly : Bassist, Alex Bugden : Drummer
Standing In Lines is a four piece funk-rock band based in Sevenoaks, Kent. The band started off as just instrumental until Jack came in and started singing along backed by Stefan on guitar, Nick on bass and Ben on drums. Although we have only been together for about 6 months now, we are coming up to recording our first E.P. together and have had amazing crowd responses at venues such as The Tunbridge Wells Forum and the High Rocks, Tunbridge Wells.
| Afflicted Quarter want to make it very
clear, and of course so does Blam, that they are most certainly NOT screamo.
Got that? NOT screamo. Anything but. No siree. No way Jose. Uh-uh. A screamo-free
zone. Move along now, no screamo here ladies and gentlemen. In fact, the
only reason they are labelled as such is because we at Blam Towers (during
a brief period when we weren’t sacrificing virgins to Satan, counting
enormous wads of cash, inciting violence between the chavs and grungers
so that we can watch it on CCTV while pissed on champagne we’ve
stolen from bands’ riders, laughing ourselves incontinent at the
horrid common poor people who spend their hard earned moolah in our establishment,
and snorting drugs from the bare buttocks of porn stars) when putting
together a blurb for last issue’s Stable shows (and that’s
no easy task either; Randall had to learn joined-up writing and everything),
were stupid enough to take our information from their Myspace page, which
says, er, “…a rock hardcore screamo 4 piece from Tunbridge
But apparently, that’s only on there because Blam called them that in the March issue, perhaps due to The Fop having nothing by way of a biog or perhaps a working/up to date website back then for anyone to refer to. Although it does of course make one wonder why they bothered putting our misguided error on their site at all if it’s wrong, but…well, perhaps I should just shut up. So, er, not screamo, OK? If you still think they’re screamo, then it’s all our fault and we take the full burden of guilty responsibility if by some cruel twist of fate, AQ don’t become huge rock stars or something, as it won’t have anything to do with them being crap whatsoever. Phew! Glad we sorted that out.
So what ARE they like then? Well, crap. Think emo metal with a touch of grind to it Like, erm, well does it matter? Just think floppy hair, no girlfriends, undescended testicles and bad trousers. Guitarist/frontman Eric Tonic has borrowed a rather fine line in nifty convincing squealing guitar hero poses and though he lets the others follow his lead (and fail to keep up, natch), he’s got a degree of charm as a performer that that makes him seem like he’s going to have a good time even if nobody else is. It’s a tolerable voice too, particularly on set opener “Illusion”, as he stays comfy and doesn’t try to overstretch himself.
The songs however are cheap and tiresome, formed from generic mush although tolerable enough in small doses. Echoes of Finch, Incubus and Velvet Revolver pop up now and again as vague reference points but it’s average emo fodder even by local youngster standards. That’s a shame, because given the opportunity to get involved with a decent band, young Tonic could actually end up doing something interesting. Not because he’s any great talent, because he’s not, but because he has the necessary conviction to want to matter.
Other than that, it’s dull at drip dry pants: a terrible rhythm section, a guitarist who might actually see what he’s supposed to play if he cut his fringe, and some OK ideas done poorly. Sorry.
I’ve ranted about Christian rock before and there’s no need to go over old ground, but they are a fucking odd bunch aren’t they? For a start, why do the members of all these bands namecheck the same Christian rock artists as influences? Why do they share this bizarrely insular ‘circle’ of Christian rock followers, who only seem to like a band based upon whether Cross Rhythms has told them that’s it’s OK and they’re Christian enough? Why can’t you find a Christian rocker who digs Norwegian black metal for the drumming for example because you can’t understand a fucking word that’s sung anyway? No, they all seem to dig Switchfoot. Why? Because they’re Christians. But are Switchfoot any good? Since when was success dependent on being good?
get me started on that band. Fucking showy rubbish with cunts handling
their PR. Put it this way, if that’s what God has on his side in
the rock war, then Satan’s laughing his big red bollocks off. But
Fact is, only idiots like being preached at and too many God-rockers fail to accept this. Sorry Tehilla Commission. I’m glad your faith means so much to you, but outside of your church group, nobody gives a shit. It’s quite possible to be both Christian and a good rock band without coming across as pious twats with a lyrical bent towards blindly praising and glorifying your saviour. Look no further than Eastbourne’s Strangeday to show how it can be done. Not just to their Christian peers, but to local bands generally, because Strangeday are not only a damn classy act with a respectable pedigree, they’re organised, bring people and care about their presentation to boot.
For a start, they sound fucking terrific. Such a contrast to the last band, they’re as satisfying as slipping into a warm vagina at the end of a long frustrating day. A crisp highly polished slice of sunshine with a nu-metal wobble, not entirely unlike Zucchini oddly enough. Think Dysuria when they suddenly turned good, but with better vocals. Add Muse, Incubus and 36 Crazyfists for good measure and yes, Switchfoot of course, but don’t hold that against ‘em as they can chuck out chugging guitars, snap-funk heaviness and slick harmonies, such as on “Losing Your Way” like good ‘uns. Just a band with an ear for a good tune who aren’t afraid to be beastly occasionally because rock and roll is supposed to be fun.
“Haunted House” for example has a grinding squeeling riff and a spidery melody interspersed with mad laughter, barbed hooks and genuine menace unbecoming of such genteel philosophies. Put ‘em in make up and they’d provide a quick trip to la-la land that could scare the shit out of anyone this side of Halloween, and when Mike ditches the guitar, he chants, howls, struts and bawls with anger, vigour and presence. The pounding earworm “Get Me Through” is one of many tasty bursts of bubblegum coming from Strangeday and they don’t overblow them. Fuck whatever it is that they believe, it’s just good quality rock that offends nobody and appeals for the right reasons as you can dance to it and it’s tighter than a nun’s muffler.
Check ‘em out and enjoy them, because it’s odds on you’ll not notice anything else unless you want to. They’re a good band regardless and maybe that’s the point. And speaking of points, at 115 they take first place this evening with embarrassing ease. At this rate we’ll witness the first Christian rock band to enter a Stable final. And won’t that make fat flatulent fools like me sweat a bit eh?
Despite sounding promising on their Myspace recordings, tender kidlings Drowning By Numbers are an unhappy mess tonight so let’s not dwell on them too long. Having recently lost their guitarist, they bravely struggle on as a trio, but it sounds empty and meaningless most of the time, as if a song’s struggling to make itself heard, but nobody’s quite sure where it is. They‘re heavy, that’s for sure, and experiment a lot with tempo and sudden noise carnage, which is good, but their singer really shouldn’t sing because he can’t. Which is, well, not so good. It’s too loose and incomplete like this, so unfair and difficult to compare it to anything meaningful as it probably isn’t representative of their abilities. So let’s be forgiving for once.
Blimey I must be getting soppy in my old age.
Our eager, hyperactive, willing to please, forelock-tugging, cap-doffing, can-do, nothing's-too-much trouble, highly trained, elite, ex-SAS and Girl Guides, crack squad of volunteers are waiting like coiled springs, with Sanatogen coursing through their veins, bouncing off the walls for you, and only you !
We always like to hear from new contributors, new bands, new people, people who hate swearing, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head.Because believe you me, it's a right hard slog making up all the lies, half-truths and general bollox that we lovingly/laughingly call BLAM. So If you've recently been moved to tears by the sight of a '74 Rickenbacker 4001, plugged through a Big Muff, whilst being lovingly caressed by a young gunslinger who knows his middle eights from a 'truckers gear shift' then please get in touch. Preferably with a local drugs helpline, in the meantime do not operate any heavy machinery.
You can write to us at
The Forum, Fonthill, The Common,
Tunbridge Wells, Kent, TN4 8YU
Or call the Information line on 08712 777101
We also have a website where you can find out all about what's on,
and laugh at the photos of the damp mattressed fainthearts that 'work' here. That's at
You can also email us, so do that to:
On the website you can book tickets, find out what's coming up, get a map, get a life, identify which ne'er-do-wells have trodden the boards at the ol' shitter, check out our interactive gaming section, or go on our messageboard and start arguing whether we include too many Appalachian Nose-Flute nights in our gig programming. In fact, we beseech, nay implore you to do any of the above which would make a change from downloading hardcore 'chicks with dicks' jpgs as you'd normally do.
Please note that as well as being able to reserve tickets for all Forum shows online, tickets are also available to be purchased from the following retail outlets:
The Longplayer, 3 Grosvenor Road, Tunbridge Wells 01892 539273
Criminal Records, 6 Goods Station Road, Tunbridge Wells 01892 511776
COMEDY FORUM - Thursday 7th Dec
PROPAGANDHI - Friday 8th Dec
DRIVE-BY ARGUMENT - Saturday 9th Dec
ICKLE BABY JESUS - Monday 25th Dec
Lifted (with permission) from the November edition of BLAM! - All queries regarding libel actions should be directed to them