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5th October 2004 I was speaking to a friend a couple of weeks ago who suggested that all new owners of iPods are just like new parents: Utterly obsessed yet completely unaware of others complete indifference to the object of their obsession.
I didn't really believe her at the time but I now realise she was right. See? I'm proving her point right now.
3rd September 2004 I've been working in the city now for about three months and today I saw my first bowler hat.
7th August 2004 Buckfast tonic wine? Christ on a bike that does weird shit to your head
28th April 2004 I've now got a loyalty card for Caffé Nero
3rd March 2004 It is so frigging cold in my flat that I am attempting to type this with gloves on
26th February 2004 [Insert humorous comment on life here]
11th February 2004 I bought a new radio alarm clock. Big deal I hear you say.
Well, it's got a digital tuner. No, not a digital radio, but an analogue one with digital presets. As a result I can got to bed listening to John Peel or Gilles Peterson or something and wake up to the Today Programme on Radio four!
Ingenious!
No more falling asleep to the shipping forecast simply to avoid that bloody Sara Cox on Radio 1 in the mornings. I know what you're thinking, yes I am sad.
Terribly, terribly sad.
Sorry.
10th February 2004 This is my first entry since 21st August 2003
21st August 2003 Someone left a message on my answerphone saying "Oh gosh, you're sexy".  I think it was a joke.  They withheld their number.  And laughed.

4th July 2003

I have witnessed one of the worst gigs I have seen in ages.  A local pub (that shall remain nameless) was hosting a true abomination of a hard-rock-80's-hair-rock covers band.  I feel dirty.  I saw a man in a Saxon long sleeved t-shirt and a Brian May Look-a-like who, wait for this, had a haircut that was actually worse than the original.
I heard twiddly guitar solos that I thought has been outlawed in the early Eighties and the two guitarists did that thing where they stand next to each other really close and it put my teeth on edge.  I saw a Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt and the lead singer was wearing stars and stripes trousers.
I was the youngest person in the pub.
I hope I die before I get old.
3rd July 2003 I fucked up again.  There was a boat I was supposed to catch and it when without me. Entirely my fault
16th June 2003 I was trying to be good and so drove down to the Forum so I couldn't drink.
I drank.
Went to pick the car up in the morning and had got a £30 parking ticket - I think that was one of the more expensive nights I've had down there.
31st May 2003 Buckfast tonic wine? Christ on a bike that does weird shit to your head
7th April 2003 Erm, I've just read the comment below, and if you don't what I'm talking about, I want to assure you that it has nothing to do with c0ttaging
6th April 2003 Guys, you must have played the public toilet/fag-butt game?  Yeah? Well, I won last week.  Hehe.
5th March 2003 Just danced around my flat to the sounds of It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine). Luuvley
16th February 2003 I've just eaten a whole packet of ginger nut biscuits and it still hasn't got rid of the hangover. All that scotch you made me drink, yes you!  You know who you are
29th January 2003 I've nearly exceeded my bandwidth allowance with the company that host this site. I guess that means people actually look at it - cool.  It'll cost me an extra £30 to upgrade my account.  Anyone fancy chipping in?
4th January 2003 Nothing really, trying to work out what my new years resolutions should be.
7th December 2002 Just discovered the joys of a whisky milk punch
4th December 2002 I thought I had stuck my wallet in the washing machine, but it turned out to be a false alarm as I'd left it in my other trousers.
15th November 2002 I think I've become addicted to Sugar Puffs
13th November 2002 Played squash and lost
10th November 2002 Saw a driving school car driving at night without it's lights on
19th October 2002 Went into Second Sounds and the bloke who owns the shop was playing a John Martyn record
10th October 2002 I had a dream that I'd left the lights on in my car
5th October 2002 Saw Ian Hislop shopping in the RVP.
1st October 2002 Only three days after leaving the lights on my new car and running the battery down, I fucking went and did the same thing again.  tit.
28th September 2002 After only owning a new car for four days, I left the lights on overnight and ran the battery down.
19th August 2002 Someone ended up on this site via www.google.com because in the search box they typed 'how to open a bottle of wine with a screwdriver'
Sadly they chose not to contact me directly for more information.  Shame.
3th August 2002 Stayed at home and watched a video
14th July 2002 Shit, I've got dunk again
7th July 2002 Shit, I've got dunk again
26th June 2002 Not going to Glastonbury for the first time in about 4 years
16th June 2002 Still haven't bought a new car yet.
29th May 2002 I spilt ½oz of Golden Virginia all over the floor and had to pick it up.
20th May 2002 I locked myself out of the house and had to phone a locksmith to get back in.
18th May 2002 My Car failed it's MOT.
10th May 2002 Holytoilet.com is listed as one of  the Surfers' Picks on Yahoo!
9th May 2002 13:47 Bought a new corkscrew
8th May 2002 20:35 Split red wine everywhere attempting to open bottle of wine with a screwdriver
8th May 2002 20:25 I've lost my corkscrew and I want to open the bottle of wine I just bought
May 2002 www.holytoilet.com website goes live!!
March 2002 Queen Mother dies
November 1989 Fall of the Berlin Wall
December 1980 Assassination of John Lennon
June 1945 Allied Landings in Normandy

April 1912

The Titanic sank on it's maiden voyage